What Does D/s Stand For?
D/s stands for Dominance and Submission. It describes a consensual power exchange dynamic where one person (the Dominant) takes control whilst another (the submissive) surrenders control.
What is Dominance and Submission (D/s)?
Dominance and submission is a fundamental component of BDSM where partners engage in an agreed power exchange. The Dominant partner exercises authority, makes decisions, and directs activities, whilst the submissive partner yields control, follows guidance, and serves.
D/s can be practised during specific scenes, extended periods, or as a comprehensive lifestyle dynamic.
How Does D/s Work?
D/s relationships typically function through:
Negotiation Partners discuss desires, boundaries, limits, and expectations before engaging in D/s activities.
Consent All power exchange is consensual and can be withdrawn at any time using established safe words or signals.
Protocols Many D/s relationships establish rules, rituals, and expected behaviours that reinforce the dynamic.
Communication Ongoing dialogue ensures both parties’ needs are met and boundaries respected.
Trust D/s requires profound trust between partners, as the submissive places themselves in a vulnerable position.
Types of D/s Dynamics
Bedroom D/s Power exchange limited to sexual activities and intimate scenes. Partners maintain equal status outside the bedroom.
High Protocol D/s Formal dynamic with specific rules, forms of address, positions, and rituals. Often includes strict etiquette.
Low Protocol D/s Relaxed dynamic with fewer formal rules. The power exchange exists but with more casual expression.
24/7 D/s (Total Power Exchange) Continuous power exchange extending into all aspects of daily life. See: TPE.
Master/slave An intensive form of D/s where the submissive (slave) consensually surrenders extensive control to the Dominant (Master/Mistress).
D/s Roles
Dominant (Dom/Domme) The person who holds authority and control. Responsible for the submissive’s wellbeing and for respecting negotiated boundaries.
Submissive (sub) The person who surrenders control and follows the Dominant’s direction. Submission is a conscious choice and gift.
Switch Someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles, either with different partners or at different times with the same partner.
D/s Activities and Expressions
D/s can include:
- Giving and following orders
- Service and tasks
- Protocols and rituals
- Physical activities (bondage, impact play, etc.)
- Orgasm control
- Behaviour modification
- Honorifics and forms of address
- Symbolic items (collars, etc.)
The specific activities vary based on each relationship’s negotiated dynamic.
D/s in Different Contexts
Femdom D/s Female Dominant with male or female submissive. See: Femdom.
Maledom D/s Male Dominant with female or male submissive.
Same-gender D/s D/s dynamics between partners of the same gender.
Benefits of D/s Relationships
For Dominants:
- Expressing natural authority and leadership
- Creating structure and direction
- Deep intimacy through trust
- Personal growth and responsibility
For submissives:
- Surrendering responsibility and control
- Clear expectations and structure
- Deep intimacy through vulnerability
- Personal growth through service
For both:
- Enhanced communication skills
- Deeper understanding of desires and boundaries
- Increased trust and connection
- Fulfilment of psychological and emotional needs
Is D/s Healthy?
When practised consensually with clear communication, negotiated boundaries, and mutual respect, D/s can be a healthy expression of intimacy and relationship dynamics.
Healthy D/s includes:
- Enthusiastic, ongoing consent
- Respect for boundaries and limits
- Open communication
- Proper aftercare
- Regular relationship check-ins
- Ability to renegotiate or end the dynamic
Common Misconceptions About D/s
“Submission means weakness” - Submission requires strength, self-awareness, and courage. It’s an active choice, not weakness.
“Dominants can do whatever they want” - Dominants must respect negotiated boundaries and the submissive’s limits. Consent is paramount.
“D/s relationships are abusive” - True D/s is consensual and built on mutual respect. Abuse involves lack of consent and disregard for wellbeing.
“D/s is always sexual” - Whilst many incorporate sexuality, D/s can focus on service, protocol, or power exchange independently of sexual activity.
Getting Started with D/s
If you’re interested in exploring D/s:
- Research and educate yourself about dynamics and safety
- Communicate openly with your partner about interests
- Start slowly with basic power exchange
- Establish safe words and regular check-ins
- Negotiate boundaries and limits clearly
- Focus on building trust
- Join communities to learn from experienced practitioners
- Remember that your D/s doesn’t need to match anyone else’s